Just another one of our past conversations

Hey…

I want to see you too.

Especially now.

r u ok_mod

Things I’m scared to say

Do you happen to know?…

“I love you”

“I’m in a really fucked up situation right now”

“I miss you”

“I’m drinking because I can only be with you when I’m either drunk or dreaming”

“I love you”

“I love you”

“I love you”

So Nice_mod

A letter from me to you

Dear (you),

You, to me, were once nothing. You were nothing but a mere drop in the sea of faces and voices I fare through everyday. But then, slow as the wind blew on a peaceful afternoon and sure as the sun rose and set each day, you became my everything.

What was once a drop had become my ocean. What was once a mere grain of sand had become my world.

Indeed, it was a slow change, which all the more made it hard to notice until the realization struck like an earthquake. By then, everything I see, feel, hear… they were already revolving around you.

Your voice is now my favorite song.
Your eyes are now my favorite shade of brown.
The warmth from your proximity is now the best temperature.
Your scent… Oh God your scent. Even I could not fathom how I am driven to near insanity with it, only to be brought back by your warm smile and your sweet laughter.

The only thing left, the only thing missing in this escapade of senses, is the taste of your lips. But alas, you are freezing cold water and I am boiling hot oil. We are trapped in two separate worlds, that of the judging and that of the judged, and so we can never mingle, for even a single drop of the mixture would cause an explosion. An explosion so intense that we would crash and burn into ashes, bringing down with us everyone and everything that surrounds us.

The risk of conveyance is no longer at worth, for I know that there would be no more to gain. You are wrapped in someone else’s arms now, and I could only hope that those arms would keep you safe for as long as they can. I am hurting, yes, but somewhere within the pain exists some sort of happiness that is rooted from seeing your contentment. I know that we are asymptotic, that the universe may conspire to bring us closer but never together, and I have already come to terms with this circumstance.

I love you, but I know that the only way to keep you is to let you go, and I am writing this for that exact reason. No. I am not letting you go, for you were never mine. I am letting go of these feelings that I so faithfully clutched onto. I am not setting you free, for you have always been free. Instead, I am setting myself free, free from this love that had eaten away at my insides. I know that holding on to this will only drag me down, and so I am letting go by writing this letter to you, though I know that this might not reach you at all. Or maybe it would, but I doubt you’ll even read this. But in the rarest of chances that you’ll ever lay your eyes on this letter, just know that me letting go of my feelings for you does not mean letting go of our friendship. You are my friend, first and foremost, and it shall remain that way. I will still love you, but it shall be a different kind of love, a love that is made only for friends. Nothing more, and nothing less.

And so for the last time, before I finally let go of these untold feelings, let me say these words that you will never hear from me in person.

I love you.

Sincerely yours,
(me)